Last night the most surreal thing happened to me, a while back i was invited to take part in a round table discussion about religions place in todays society.
The agenda was as follows.
1 Do we need religion?
2 Young and lost, teenagers face problems without jesus.
3 Caring for our immortal soul.
I initially said no to take part in this, since its obviously tilted towards trying to justify religion, not have a real and open dialog around the topic.
A friend of mine that freed himself from religious superstition a few years ago used weeks to nag me into it, he said it was important that someone confronted this priest. (apparently ha was a lunatic even by biblical standards). Eventually i caved and accepted the invite.
(i guess the priest was planning to use me to underscore his his point of view or something)
The problem for him was, i am not that easy to subjugate, the priest i reckon was used to people quivering at his feet while he puked fire and brimstone.
Such speeches simply has no influence on me, i find them childish, ridiculous and preposterous. Often i laugh out loud when confronted with such stupidity, its simply just to stupid to take seriously.
The priest was totally perplexed when i didn’t i fold under his thunderous comedy act! I also had the audacity to argue against him. I totally ridiculed that man, simply by putting his outlandish claims into perspective.
Then suddenly after about 15 minutes of ridiculing this hateful sad individual, during a session when i exchanged the name of jesus in a quote ha had just made, suddenly things got interesting.
He said: “Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God”
I repeated this sentence while exchanging god with Zeus “Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the son of Zeus, Zeus dwelleth in him, and he in Zeus.
People in the audience broke out in spontaneous laughter, the priest was starting to act really strange at this point.
First he got up, pointed at me, and screamed a lot of biblical garbage (SATAN! SON OF SATAN! ladidadidda etc). It was totally absurd i laughed out loud and turned to the audience and pretended to pull an imaginary rope through my ears while making a stupid face.
The audience exploded in laughter, and then it happened the priest punched me! Smack! fist right in the face! Luckily I have been in fights countless times before and i automatically pulled out and avoided the full force of the blow.
With a big smile i said to the priest, is that your only argument? he swung again and again making big holes in the air.
During this ridiculous charade of air punches i talked to him: Hey calm down! or i will defend myself! What happened to turning the other cheek? The meek shall inherit and all that? Why don’t you do as you preach?
As i was dodging around on the podium many people in the audience where bursting with laughter, the priest finally managed to land a blow that hurt, and i reacted instinctively.
I struck him with a hard right, full force blow. It broke his nose and left him out cold.
The silence was absolute in the room, i blurted out towards the audience “is this a guy you want to take advice from? just because he claims ha can interpret a book supposedly authored by god? isnt this absurd to you? why do you believe in this utter crap?”
The majority of the people across the room bobbed their heads up and down in almost perfect unison.
I said lets go home and not waste any more time on this stupid antiquated superstition!
They all left, apart from a click of die hard religious loonies that started shouting abuse at me, strangely enough they where more interested in yelling at me than to help the priest? none of them helped him?
I sat down and made sure he was breathing and put him into a steady side position before calling an ambulance. (the loonies screaming in the background).
I was thinking about calling the police but i figured he had already suffered enough, loosing his flock and all credibility in a single afternoon. He was still unconscious when the ambulance picked him up, i felt really sorry for the guy.
What a sad confused little man he was.
Even as the ambulance pulled away the loonies where still haggling in the background, i hadn’t talked to them yet. i turned towards them and made a sudden move and stomped my foot so it made a loud bang. they all flinched pulled back and shut up, i burst out laughing i turned and walked away laughing.
Fucking morons, it really takes a special kind of idiot to be religious.