Funny! religion dont make nice people.

Yesterday something bizarre happened to me, after work i vent to the store to buy some groceries. The fun started when i came out.

Outside I immediately noticed a hissing sound, like when you puncture a tire.

I started walking towards the front of the car where the sound was coming from, once there a man came over to me “i think some guy cut your tire” he said.

I was more than a bit surprised ” say what?” “there was a guy by your car, it looked like he slashed your tire” We ended up talking for the next five minutes, While we where talking a police officer came up to us, and i explained the situation.

The police officer pointed out the camera just a few meters away and suggested that we went inside to take a look at the tape.

And there! On the film was a guy, cutting my tire! I recognized him from the local Christian church.

I have had many discussions with this guy and he always claims that religion is so important because it make people nicer. He usually say things like Christians are more honest, they are nicer, etc, ad infinitum.

Yet here he was 46 years old carrying out a crime, and he is being filmed while doing it?

I wondered, how do you explain to your friends and family that you have been arrested for vandalism at this age?

Today, at lunch i went to his church. You should have seen him sweat. In front of everybody i asked him if he had told them what he did yesterday! “You must have told them, after all you claimed to be such a honest stand-up guy” i said.

Shortly after he fled, he couldn’t fess up to what he had done, so i told everyone. With great satisfaction i might add. About how this honest stand up guy had vandalized my car on tape.

111 Responses to Funny! religion dont make nice people.

  1. christian D. says:

    Wow… I love those debats. So if I understood well, there must be a God because science doesn’t explain everything. I heard that a lot in my life from religions people trying to spare with me. To said I used to answer “well science doesn’t explain everything but religions explain nothing”

    But I was wrong. Religions explain a lot in fact. But with no proofs and nothing that be verified. I prefere to not have answers in hope someday will find some than contenting myself with some beliefs that it was the will of some supernatural being. Because in the end it’s not having answers anyway. What’s the difference between a “we don’t know yet” and “it was created by a supernatual ebing”?

  2. Mathew Philip Mattathu says:

    Thanks . I enjoyed my holidays . This topic will never end because you believe in what you believe in and I believe in what I do .Each of us has his or her own reasons .

  3. Mathew Philip Mattathu says:

    I see a lot of action . I am on holiday having a great time with the love of my life .More when I return .

    Take care guys .

  4. Hey let me know if you visit, we have loads of nature for you (not much else)

    We have some fairly rude people (unless they are drunk – then they fight)

    PS: we killed off our wolves a long time ago, i would go for Bear shit we have a few of those.

    You crack me up man! take my advice. dont take any pills at all.

    If we where meant to take Viagra, it would have grown on trees.

  5. Braekmans Herman says:

    Sorry I posted this on a wrong thread.

    Maybe I will visit Norway newt year. The fresh air of the woods will do good for my mental health. If I’m so unlucky to loose my way and end up as wolf-shit, the particular wolf will spontaneously get an orgasm because since two years I’m on the severe anti-aging diet of Biospere scientist Roy Walford supplemented with real ANTIOXIDANT BOMBS like the reputed multivitamin canonball “Essential Life”. It’s better than viagra. Nono, this is no spam!
    God didn’t help me to produce a stiffy when I suffered from impotence as a side-effect of the antidepressants. THANK SCIENCE THERE WAS ESSENTIAL LIFE MULTIPOTENCE FORMULA. In no time it made me cross the distance between the power of a grammophone-needle and a cruise-missile. TNANK SCIENCE!!!

    I’m going to sleep, EMP now because tomorrow I intend to work hard on my teleportation device. See you later!

  6. LOL Flashing Jehowas witnesses LMAO !!!! lol man ! i bet its a right riot trading stories with you over a few beers…

    Man you must have some serious pure gold, 24 karat, diamond sprinkle on top stories man!

    People on the fringe of sanity are always the most interesting, although it sounds like you cressed over the line a few times, ref: island/language.

    I have a friend that totally lost it for some years. He became homeless and everything. But he pulled himself together and man does he have some stories! he says the experience gave him some unique anles to look at life from, he says his experience has enriched him.

    I live 20 minutes outside Oslo,

    I to feel offended by religions inconsiderate brainwashing of children around the world, madrassas, American hell houses! its horrible.

    The pointless suffering is on a scale that totally baffles the mind.

  7. Braekmans Herman says:

    Yes, that would be nice. But Norway is quite far away. Where exactly do you live now?

    My new interests today are the developments in quantum computing, nanorobotics, AI research and biotechnology. Science will eventually lead us into an engineered paradise. A world where all diseases, physical and mental are eliminated, unlimited wealth through cheap nanobot-construction, ect. But first we have to develop a working virus-scanner for the brains of a few billion earthlings.

    It is so sad to know that tens of millions of children of fucked-up parents on this planet waste their time in Koran schools. If you know that 2% of the population are geniuses, we’re talking about hundreds of thousands potential geniuses who, thanks to religious bullshit, will enter their adult stage with a knowledge about the world that would put any European pre-teen to shame. And among these hundreds of thousands of children, a few, if stimulated properly, would be smart enough to push forward the fronteers of science on their own. Maybe a potential equivalent of Einstein in the field of genetics is among them, a man thanks to whom the cures for all terminal illnesses could be discovered ten years earlier than it would be now. Result million of people would be saved from a cruel death. You see, Religion holds back progress. People die of cancer because many people in the world focus their entire fucked-up lives on bronze-age shit-literature.

    I wished I had the skills to constructively contribute to the world-wide dismantlement of faith, because I have come to the insight that showing my dick to walking-by Jehova’s witnesses doesn’t get me anywhere. But it was fun, though!

  8. LOL, sorry for laughing but this is just funny as hell.

    You where without a doubt totally “batcage” insane.

    But you seam ok now. i just wish we could do the same for mathew and all the other confused religious people.

    I am glad you are better breakman, i bet you are a riot to have as company over a few beers.

    I bet you have some hilarious stories to share over a pint.

  9. Braekmans Herman says:

    To tell you the truth, I have fallen victim of a delusion too. In 1993, I discovered the Icelandic language when I visited that country. The people there are extreme language purists: nifteindasprengja (sister-particle-bomb, neutron bomb), samhraðall (synchrotron), verkfræðingur (engineer). Only Tamil and Maori have a comparable language policy. I found it ass-kicking! I decided to try to find decent words for the remaining 16% loanword that defied translation. I created the ultrapurist Háfrónska (High Icelandic) and had contacts wit the Icelandic language commission. But at the end of the 90ies, I became so obsessed that I began to think I was sent by Fjallkonan (the lady of the mountains, incarnation of the Icelandic nation) to fight the loan-words in Icelandic. My examples were the Fjölnismenn, a group of poets of the 19th century who were so puristic that they even translated foreign personal names: Jón Hrísill (John Russell), Hróbjartur Píll (Robert Peel). I started to call Tibet Þakland (Roofland), Japan Morguneyjar (Morning islands), the atheist Bertrand Russell becomes Bjarthrafn Hrísill. But most young Icelanders are anti-purist and firmly rejected my ultrapurism. They insulted me quite often. Instead of accepting this, I flipped. I bit back and sometimes used insanely unethical names like móðurrasshnefanauðgari (mother-ass-fist-rapist) and eldvörpufóstureyðir (flame-thrower aborter). In the meantime I fantasised about a group of Nýyrðaskáld (neologistic skalds), who would teach the Icelandic population to fight the loan-words that are sealed in their brains.

    I did awful things. I spammed people in order to quicky find brothers in arms to fight the loan-words in Icelandic. I’m not any better than a christian or a muslim.

    Here you can see the result of my delusion. It will go off-line in april. I won’t pay for it anymore. SEE HOW INSANE IT IS MATTHEW, THIS IS HOW DELUSIONS WORK. I WAS THERE!

    http://www.hafronska.org
    http://www.fjallbarn.net

    I was delusional in a semi-religious way. But not anymore. I burned my Icelandic dictionaries at the stake and from this moment onward I will behva like a dropdead-normal human being. I will watch soap, talk with people about the behaviour of my dog in the local pub while I’m playing billiards and go fishing every saturday.

    I have been a little bit unfair to Matthew. Not that I don’t think he’s delusional but that doesn’t make him a bad person. I hate religion, but I know I have crossed the line by telling people they are delusional while I have been delusional myself by believing the Icelandic lady of the mountains ordered me to inspire Icelanders to get rid of their loan-words. I really intented to convince Icelanders to say ‘bjúgaldin’ (bowfruit, banana) instead of ‘banani’ banana!! I was insane.

  10. Come on Mathew.

    I know religious people are used to splitting hairs to defend their superstition but this is ridiculous.

    Mixing cement and sand is also just a modification but it generates concrete.

    A brand new type of life, even if its just a modification is still man made life. It didnt exist before and its unlikely such life would come into existence without human help.

    If we wanted to make a better stronger human we dont need genetic engineering we could selectively breed.

    We have done this for a few thousand years, selectively breeding plants and animals to meet our needs.

    Take for example the modern banana. Its totally man made, selectively bread for flavor texture etc. Banana plants cant reproduce without human help.

    The same goes for the turkey, they have been selectively bread to meet human demands and as a result Turkeys can no longer reproduce without human assistance.

    The point is we create new forms of life all the time, its not hard at all.

    Whats new with genetically engineered life is that we can now combine traits in a totally new manner. we can take the gene that makes squid glow and transplant it into pigs for example.

    glow in the dark pigs picture

    Now no matter what you say glow in the dark pigs is not something that just appears naturally. you cant produce them through selective breeding they are artificial and man made.

    Now if you believe that there is some magical imaginary super being involved in the process of manufacturing glow in the dark pigs you are an idiot:

    There is no other way to describe it total morons

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