I was born in a little religious shit-hole in Norway it has a paper factory and some pubs (not much else) and depending on the wind direction half the city always smells like someone just let of the fart of the century. (cellulose factories stink)
In short it is and smells like the as end of the universe! The kind of place that if a nuclear device where set off there the noise of the applause would resonate across the world.
Most people are religious and during my childhood i had a lot of fun pointing out how incredibly stupid religion is, I made many a parent cry when their pride and joy one day came home to profess they no longer believed in god. In short I had a lot of fun.
I recently re-visited the dump for a school reunion, and the first thing I did on arrival was to visit the police station to see how many coppers where left that frequently arrested me for:
A: Being drunk
B: Drinking in a public place
C: Looking suspicious
D: Making rude gestures
E: Being out late probably, up to something.
G: Swimming naked
H: Fishing after 18:00
I: Walking to fast in one direction
J: Being in a public place with an offensive hair due
K: Watching a robbery at the local bank
L: Watching a window get broken at the local store
M: Sitting in a chair on the school lawn
N: Arguing when harassed by police
O: Chewing gum on the bus
P: Spilling coca cola close to a police vehicle
I could go on with more facts from my arrest record but you get the drift, I was popular with the cops they tried relentlessly, and failed, for nearly a decade to break me. Anyway only 3 of the coppers I used to annoy where still there, the rest had been dismissed for inappropriate use of resources (no shit Einstein) or unnecessary use of force (nothing new there).
Surprisingly enough only one of them where happy to see me?
The other two where down right hostile and immediately started with their old, what are you doing here? Where were you yesterday? Where were you the day before that?
I cut them short by letting them know that I can afford excellent lawyers nowadays.
In the evening when I arrived at the reunion I got more and more pissed off, who the fuck where these people? Here I leave for only 10 years and everyone has turned into complete losers??? What the fuck!
The most sexy girl in school before I left had quadrupled her body mass I even failed to identify her as female!
The ultra religious class geek that everyone had such high hopes for was totally wasted on heroin and he begged me for money for more blow?
This is the way it went! Every single fucker had some major problem and the people that where angels in school where the worst of the lot, they snorted lines in the bathroom, where unemployed and general losers.
The highest position any of them had was a secretary job! A quick calculation established that in only the week before the reunion I made more money than the top earner there earned the entire previous year!
All the religious freaks where confused with their life distraught and miserable. They could only be described as victims of life, even though they had sheltered religious childhoods they where all miserable losers.
The one person, me, that everyone said would never amount to anything! the one person they always blamed everything on! (loads of kids where actually forbidden from even talking to me) was the only person with a happy productive life.
Seeing my childhood friends back broken whipped and down under the oppressive boot of religion was quite sad, it galvanized me to step up my criticism of all things religious.
Religion is an affront to humanity, it really schould be forbidden.