The God Contest :)

i have set up a God contest on this page

Gods Not Entered

Gods who where unwilling, or unable, to enter would forfeit the right of their representatives to collect money, tithes, land, or any other worldly possessions in their god’s name.

9 Responses to The God Contest :)

  1. Muzolf says:

    Say would anybody b willing to share ny funny, or even unfunny stories of any Gods or whatever else? I starve for something new to read, and its not so easy to find these on the net ( And dont even get me started on books, i cant find anything in our bookstores besides school books wich dont even cover the raw basics. )

    I would be especially interested in Shinto, ancient Chinese or Korean stories, but any mithology would be welcome, including those consiered truth by some people today.

    I had to realise i know allmost nothing beside some basic philosophical facts/assumtions about Hinduism eather. The farest i got was stories about the rakshasa and their relation to the gods. (And that only becaue i needed original information on rakshasas for a D&D based game, but the actual bestiary had little detail.) Anybody willing to share any stories or descriptions?

  2. Muzolf says:

    Due to no interest on the topic whatsoever i decided to cut it short.

    I described a few mithological characters, Gods, whos stories or nature i felt to be strange or funny enough to put on a contest like this, now i will do something that might suprise a few of you.

    The next contestant is someone whom i could wholeheartedly love and worship, if she was real.

    Bast, because she is a joyful goddess of love, fertility, music and dance, and at the same time she is still a predator at heart, the fierce flame of the sun, the protector of home, of woman children and cats.

    I actually know of no great stories of her, her only actual deeds i know of, is when she and her sister Shakmet ( Yup, the happy drunk godess of war. ) slained the serpent Apep.

    She is probably one of the oldest godesses known in Egypt. Her holy city of Bubastis might not have the greatest, but the most beutiful temple honoring her in the ancient world, if we believe the words of the Greek traveler who spoke of it.

    Why worship cats, one might ask. Simple, the ancient egiptians were one of the first agricultural civilisations. Rats and other rodents were probably a dire threat, not only to their granaries, but as spreading disieases too. Most likely the egyptians saw the connection between keeping cats, and how this helped them avoid diseases actually carried by the rats.

    Thats why she became a protector of the home, the rest came from the simple fact, that in human eyes, cats can be quite appealing. As egyptians gods rised mostly from more ancient, animistic traditions, it was clear that the god wich represents most things considered beautiful, would resemble the animal they liked the most.

  3. Muzolf says:

    Since allmost all gods mentioned had some rauncy sexual deviation there is a change of plans.

    Instead of speaking about Inari and the kami associated with her, the kitsune ( “Fox spirits” if you like. ) who are, among many traits, known to take the form of beautiful woman, and being seductive, playful little troublemakers.

    However, we had enough of that allready, so instead, lets discuss the aun god Amaterasu.

    Being on of the first gods, and chief diety in Shinto, she is propably the only female god ever to be an uncontested chief diety of a pantheon.

    Amongst the many legends the most important and most well known in shinto is maybe the story about the quarrel with her brother Susanoo, god of storms. Being drunk ( Seriously, are there ANY gods who can hold their liquor? ) he trampled over Amaterasus rice fields irrigation, thrown excrement at her palace and shrines, even thrown a dead, skinned horse at some of her servants, killing them.
    Disturbed and ashamed by her brother actions but unvilling to fight she hid in a cave and blocked the entrance with a big rock.

    With the sun goddess hiding there was no light on the world and things began to whither. The other gods
    ( Err Kami, you see, i use the term gods but Kami means much more as the word “god”. Kamis wary in power and importance, some are spirits with even less power as mortals, some are the equivalent of western Gods. )
    gathered at her cave, trying to figure a way to get her out again. The goddess of merryment, (Her name was something like “Ama No Uzimi” not entirely sure.) began dancing, revealing her breasts and lifting her skirt much t amusement to the other kami ( Mostly the males i guess. ) There was a lot of cheering, and Amaterasu came out to look what was going out. She was told that there is a new godess, and someone showed her a mirror. She was facinated as she never saw herself before. Eventually this somehow lead her to be convinced to return to her proper place.

    I know i know, so far its mithology and not even remotely funny. Well i need to add soemthing i guess. This time, a bit of history.

    After the second world war while the Americans did not put the Japanese emperor on Trial, they did force him to revoke his status. You see, the imperial line is seen as descendants of Amaterasu. The emperor basicly had to revoke his status as a diety. While he did that he allso asked if he could pay his respect to his ancestors.

    Guess what, he payed his respect at a shrine to Amaterasu.πŸ˜€ ( The Americans being wholly ignorant of Japanese culture of course had no idea, that they practicly let him reclaim his status as a diety. )

  4. Muzolf says:

    Our next contestant, Loki

    A trickster, thief and conspirator. Originally a giant, the most malicious of the nordic gods, and quite an interesting fellow. Father to fenrir the wolf who would devour the sun when ragnaroc comes, and allso of the serpent of midgard. I could tell the story how he conspired to murder Baldyr and ended the golden age this way, or the tale of his inprisonment when in a drunken stupor he thrown all the skeletions from their closets to the gods.

    But those are rather boring stories, so lets tell the most interesting one.

    The construction of midgard. The gods commisioned a man with constructing their great fortress, who demanded quite a price fro mthe gods for doing it. He asked for the sun, the moon, and the godess freya ( Godess of love ). Unwilling to pay this price the gods set the condition that he has to do it in the next tree days.

    It would have been impossible, had Loki not given this man the horse Svaoilfari. This steed was so strong and could carry enough that the man would actually be able to do it in tree days.

    Figuring out who was responsible, the gods threatened Loki, and demanded that he devises another sceme to stop the man from succeeding.
    The next day, when the builder went to work, a mare came fro mthe woods, the stallation realising what kind of horse it is, raced after the mare who darted into the woods, with the man after them.

    The builder lost a day of work and couldnt finish, but after what happened Loki gave birth to one more animal, a six legged horse, this thime he was not the father, but the mother.πŸ˜€

  5. Muzolf says:

    I have run out of stories that i can recall without getting back to my books, with excepcion of my favorite god ( Actually, a goddess. I woudlnt worship a guy, thats gay.πŸ˜› ) who will be left to the end.

    I make sure to post more after i have refreshed my memories of Loki, the norse god of mischief, and the japanese patron of the kitsune, in wich case not herself but her kin will be examined a bit. Maybe i post about someone else too.

  6. Muzolf says:

    Our next participant is another egyptian god, or rather, goddess. A lady who can be, a bit unpleasant at times, but is at least a happy drunk.πŸ™‚

    Shakmet or Shekmet. The lion headed goddess of war.

    Daughter to Raa, had the title of being the eye of raa ( A position that would be synonymus with being his right hand. ) Godess of War and the desert. Allso known as the red lady.

    The story goes as this, humanity had turned away from the gods, particulary against Raa, they were in disorder and were acting evil, thus Raa cunsulted the other gods what he should do.

    The decision was to send his daughter to the people, to punish them. Shakmet was thus sent to men, and began to punis them. She was doing well, in fact, so well, that Raa himself was terrified, and it was feared that soon no human would remain on the world, as she was slaughetering them. The sun god bid his daugher, even begged to her in the end to stop, but she did not listen, as she has gone mad with bloodust.

    In the end, to the advice of Toth, the god of knowlede, a plan was made to stop her. A valley was filled with beer, wich was mixed with red dye, to make it look like it was blood. Shakmet, thinking it was blood began to drink it, as was eventually drowned in the blood red beer. When she finally got out, she has fallen asleep, and next morning, she has fallen in love with the first being she saw, Ptah, the god of industry and creation. Later they were married too.

    Well we got ourselves another killer, who goes crazy at the smell of blood, but stops after becoming drunk enough. Remember children, if you ever meet this lady, bee sure to have some beer with you, least she be drinking your blood.πŸ˜›

  7. Muzolf says:

    Our next perticipant is another, ahem, interesting caracter.

    Set, Sutekh, Seth, Setesh. I will simply refer to him as Seth.

    First a little background. Seth used to be the patron protector of upper egypt, and as thus, he was respected and worshipped by many, until lower egypt conquered upper egypt, at wich point, his descent to the status of a demonised enemy started.

    Originally, he was standing on the top of the barke of Raa, killing the snake Apep when he came to devour Raa, thus ensuring that the sun would rise evry day. This, would make him one of the good guys. Unfortunetly most people only remember his quarrel with Osiris and his family.

    He was jelaus of Osiris, who, aside from being a god, was allso the current ruler of egypt at a time. So he devised a plan to get rid of him. Long story short, rigging a turnament, using a breast plate to choke Osiris, he overcame him, and cut his body to pieces, but was later defeated by the son of Osiris, who was born of his mother Isis wia virgin birth, wile his father lay dead.

    During one of the contests with Horus Seth tried to umm.. seduce him, by letting lose remarks like “what lovely back you have” hiting at Seths sexual preferences.

    The god of storms and destruction, and god of war ( but protector of soldiers ), god of evil and foreing lands he was given the godesses of foreign people to appease his apetites, and he was married to the female deamon Nephys, but the only son he ever had, Anubis was not from him, as he was barren.

    So far he is the only contestant who even gets close in malice to you know who.

  8. Muzolf says:

    All right, here goes nothing.

    Let me first enter some participants to the contest.

    First Participant. Zeus

    God of thunder, chief diety of the hellaenic pantheon, allso known as Jupiter in Rome, son of the titans Chronus and Rhea, married to his own syster Hera, father of Athene, Aphrodite, and several half gods. ( None of them from his wife. )

    He is known for ending the age of the titans, as the youngest of the gods sired by Chronus, he deafeated his father, cut his maleness, freed his brothers and sisters from their father belly ( Who had a habit of eating his children, but Zeus was hidden by his mother. ) took his throne, and banished the titans to Tartalus.

    He is best known for his scandalous affairs with mortal women, whom he usually seduced in the form of some animal, and sired countless half gods this way. A real role model for greek men.

    Come on, whats not to like about the guy?πŸ˜€

  9. Muzolf says:

    The link is not working, or was it supposed to take me back here?

    Can atheists apply too? I mean just because i dont believe in any, doesnt means i cant like some of them.πŸ˜€

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